goodbye to a friend

You know, life is crazy sometimes. I have decided to cut out a friend from my life who I have known for the last 8 years, sometimes you just give and give and it becomes too much. I cant even say she has been a good friend because in all actuallity she hasnt. A freindship should be give and take not give and give and that is the kind of friend she was, I gave 200% and she gave 0 so I guess it is a good thing, but it still is hurtfull that she doesnt realize what a good friend I have been to her. I have figured out that I cant save everyone, I cant fix everyone...and that in itself is really a huge burden off my shoulders. I have spent the last 10 years trying make everyone happy because I lost my best friend, I have come to the realization that I dont have the power to fix anyone. If I give my best that is all I can do. I dont have the power to change anyone, that is Gods job not mine. And although it has taken a long time for me to figure it out I have finally realized what others do is not my fault, sure everyone has an influence on people and what they do but really the choice is theirs.........I am a good friend, sister, mother, wife, and daughter and all I can do is do my best and sometimes friendships just are not fixable and I have come to terms with the fact that this friendship is beyond repair and I will always cherish the memories and the good times, but really they are few and far between, I spent more time trying to help, fix, and comfort and in my tough times she wasnt there. But one great thing to come from the friendship is that I got a great friend in her sister who is honest, loyal, compasionate and a real true friend so in that I am blessed and I know that if I were in crisis she would be there and she has. I am so grateful to have such great friends and grateful to know the difference between good and not good friends. I have realized that I cant change people and If I am giving and giving with nothing in return, its not healthy or fair. I do not open myself up to many people but when I do I try to do everything in my power to have a good friendship and be a good friend, and I expect the same in return, and in this case it didnt happen, so as they say live and learn. I do not need disloyal, self centered people in my life so goodbye to her and good riddens...........

Kaylees first day of 2nd grade!!!!!!!!!!

WOW, first day of second grade, crazy, my little girl is growing up so fast I cant believe it. She didnt even want me to walk her to her class, "just drop me off" she says...........well we have raised an independent child thats for sure........no self esteem problems there..............I guess thats a good thing right??? Well we have definately been blessed with wonderful independent children with a mind of their own..........but sometimes it makes us crazy but I wouldnt have it any other way. What a blessing it is to watch our children grow and learn.

MY SISTER

Okay, I know I have already gushed about what a wonderful sister I have, but I'm not finished. I do have the most loving compasionate sister in the whole world. She is also married to the best brother in law I couldve asked for. My sister with out me asking, or begging took it upon herself to help will and I and I couldnt be more thankful. I know I am supposed to be the big sis who solves all the problems, but she has come to MY rescue and I am humbled and grateful for that. I wont disclose what, because she knows what they did, but she saved my sanity and I am so very grateful. I just hope that someday I can do the same for her. I dont know if she even reads my blog but if she does, I love you and appreciate what you did. I know that I am truely blessed and I'm not sure why.......as I have said before I wasnt the best sister in the world. I only hope that someday when I "grow up" I can be like my sister........because we all know I havent quite grown up yet. My sister only deserves the best and I hope that everyone who reads my blog will say a litte prayer for my sister and chris that they are blessed with all that they want (kathleen you know what I am talking about) I know that it WILL happen.............sometimes things dont happen the way you want them to but it doesnt mean they wont. I pray everyday for many blessings for you and chris and so do kaylee and J and we all know God listens to the kids first.....right......I love you kathleen and chris and I appreciate your help and prayers I just hope you know how much it means to me...........my favorite sister and brother-in-law, (sorry bigler boys....) I know good will come and your prayers will be answered.....I love you lots.....your favorite sister, Tricia

So Kaylee the other day was saying that she really wants to have a sister and that I had a sister and she wanted one too which got me thinking how lucky I am to have such a great sister. Which made me feel a little sad that she doesnt have a sister..........does that make any sence (I know that isnt spelled right but whatever.....) I am really really really blessed to have such a loving wonderful giving sister. I wasnt the best big sister growing up so for her to love me now and not totally dispise (I know spelling again) me is unbelievable. I was horrible and mean and I am so glad that we are so close today. I have so much respect and love for the person she has grown to be...........I really couldnt of hand picked a better sister (although I'm not sure she would say the same) Its funny cause I watch my kids fight and I just think..........when they get older I hope they have a great relationship. They are the first to fight with eachother but if someone else isnt being nice to them they are the first to defend the other. Which I guess is how I was with my sister I cant even count how many fights I got into because my sis said "my sister is going to beat you up" (even a couple boys who were waaaay bigger than me....and yes I won=) I think if I could go back I would of been a sister to look up to instead of a big bully......I'm just thankful that my sister doesnt hold that against me =) well thats it for now

okay tried to post a pic again you know...............dial up SUCKS!!!!